November 30, 2014
This morning, as I was sleeping on the flight from Ho Chi Minh City to Seoul, I dreamt. In my dream I had landed in Seattle and went directly to Mellington’s house for a movie night. A man was there – a friend of a friend, someone I have seen but not spent time with (I hardly know him). He was in a reclining chair and asked if I would like for him to hold me. There was nothing loaded about his offer and there were no sexual overtones. With relief, I said “Yes. Please. I need to be held so badly.”. I sat with him, leaned my head against his chest, almost relaxed and then sat up and said “Wait! I just got off the plane and haven’t showered! I stink! He smiled and said “I know. It’s fine.”. So I leaned back in, closed my eyes, and let go. I asked him “Do you know what that feels like when you take a deep breath and let all of your muscles go?”. He said “Yes, I do. Go ahead.”. I exhaled deeply and let my entire body relax, then I did it again, shedding layers of pain and stress, melting into his comforting and completely platonic embrace. I felt safe. For a few moments, I put down my burdens and it was the most wonderful feeling I have had in months. Then, my flight began to descend into Seoul and I was woken from the dream by the announcements the pilot was making. It was such a shame. It would have been so nice to be held just a little bit longer.