October 27, 2014

Several weeks ago, out of the blue, Melanie said –

M: “Mama, why don’t you have another baby?”
Iz: “Oh yes that’s a great idea!”
H: (completely taken off gaurd) “Er…um… but… I don’t have a husband.”
Iz: “You don’t need a husband to have a baby. A baby would be so much fun! Maybe it could be a baby brother!”
M: “Yes a baby brother!”
H: (triggered, almost crying) “While you are technically correct that I could have a baby without a husband, I really don’t want to have a baby without a partner to help me.”
Iz: “We could help you!”
H: “I don’t want to talk about this any more.”

I don’t know what possessed them to want to have this conversation with me. I haven’t brought it up since. Then an hour ago, unprompted –

Iz: “Mama, I really do want another sibling. You should have another baby!”
H: “I don’t have anyone to have a baby with, Isabella.”
Iz: “You could do it the way so-and-so did it! You don’t need a husband!” (referencing a friend who had in-vitro
H: (triggered, weeping) “I don’t have a husband. I’m not having a baby without a husband.”
Iz: “Mom, seriously! I can help you! I can change diapers and carry the baby around!”
H: (changes subject, tries to distract Iz from the whole idea)

These conversations are really not helping me right now. As if life isn’t hard enough without my kids pressuring me to get impregnated and have a baby BY MYSELF. Ugh.

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